I can’t do this anymore. I cannot let myself feel or think the way I used to. I cannot let people just walk all over me and make me feel things. I cannot give you the love I deserved to give myself any longer. I have done enough, felt enough and let go of enough things in my life. It’s time to think of other things than you. It’s time to let myself feel happy about the sun and the wind and the people around me.
Honestly I wanted to shut every emotion of me down. I wanted to tell myself to never love again and to never trust again because you were the last piece of hope I thought I had and then you broke me down. But doing this would only hurt me more. I would end up shutting off my joy and happiness along with the other negative emotions I had to let go of. I would pull myself into darkness again just to forget you forever.
I don’t want you to win this time. I don’t want to give you the satisfaction of shutting me down. I will not cry. I will not feel sad and I will be happy even though I don’t exactly feel like it all the time.
You are an example of everything that has let me go. You are one of the reasons why I can’t breathe whenever I think of everything sad that has happen to me. You were too good to be true and maybe it might even be my fault to thinking you were someone who would stay for a change.
You have your issues to deal with and I may not fit that bunch of solutions you think you have gotten right but trust me, I will be an example to you of what a beautiful hurricane looks like. My love was pure, was true and maybe not thought through but pureness surfaces all bitterness and you’ll realise that over time.
I fell for you harder than you did and not because you looked great or were great, it was because you made me feel great, you made me feel happy. But what I did not realise is that all this while, you replaced my abilities or my own potential to make myself happy due to which I began to depend on you. I lost my way but I’ve found it now.
I loved every bit you, bad and good but you only breed on the bad of me and let me go. So yes, you can’t hurt me anymore because I didn’t aim to be perfect for you, I aimed to just make you happy and love you with all my heart. If you couldn’t appreciate that, you would never see true love from anyone in your life even if it hit you with a bat!
So yes, you can’t hurt me anymore but I know what true love looks like. I found it in me. I don’t feel like I’ve lost anyone anymore, I feel like I found myself again. You will always be an example, an example to learn from, a lesson to remember and if you did care, you wouldn’t have let me go because you knew, that’s all I had asked from you right from the beginning and you couldn’t even stick to that for me once.