What if you are your ‘The One’?

Finding the perfect guy or girl is always a challenge. He or she you might have met already or yet to meet but it has never been easy. I mean I have seen situations where both the people really like each other and yet don’t date because maybe they want different things and that is such bullshit! Although I have always never been that lucky but I do have my share of relationships that do end badly.

It was only when I had a recent thought about how I did not really need a man in my life to make me happy. I just needed me time I would be equally happy. I think the reason we all love the idea of relationships could be that we like someone appreciating us and telling us how amazing we are. We all want meaning in our lives and it is only by constant approval and being part of someone else’s life that makes us happy.

When I thought about love to be something we want because that is a place someone finally notices us then I feel even more disappointed. I don’t really need someone appreciating me, my boss can do that when I do a good job, my friends can be proud of me, my family can be my support. Love really has nothing to do with ‘the one’.

What if we are our own ‘the one’ and all the guys and girls out there are just lessons to remind us that after all, only we know when we fuck up and when we don’t.

Getting into a new relationship is all magic and fun but then it is all down hill from there. It’s like taking care of another human being. While yes, some do like the idea of being in relationship because sometimes they’ve got a great catch but meanwhile all the single people are turning desperate and crazy. Why?

If there isn’t someone in your life that you want or need then its not really a bad thing. If you’ve got so much love you but no one to give it to, give it to those who need it, kids, family, friends, workplace. That love doesn’t desperately need to be boxed up and kept in a dark little place for some random person to go looking for it to play around then have their fun and leave.

Everyone is turning selfish then you should too because remember you are the one for yourself and thats all that matter really. In the end we do everything for ourselves. Sure we do things for those who matter to us but only because we know they are important rare people we don’t want to miss out on. Phoebe from friends was actually right, there is no self-less act in this world and that is okay! We just need to please ourselves in the end but not recklessly by hurting others. You know what  I mean.

Maybe you shouldn’t be feeling depressed or lonely, maybe you should be glad you’ve got you and you’re a catch to be with and thats all that there is to living a happy life!

Until the next blog!


What great leadership is?!

I always imagined being a leader would be easy, how hard can it be to the boss? But my turn came I realised it was so much harder than being an employee.

Leaders have to be like a mama bear or a papa bear. They take care of their babies, they make sure they are doing the right things, learning the right way. Nobody is perfect and you might loose your temper and you might wanna beat the person up at times but you know you gotta be strong and make things happen.

The hardest part about leading is that if they fail, you’ve failed. They are not alone in the battle of failure, it is you who is moulding them to be someone. If they are still lost and not moving in the right direction then you are doing something wrong. You have to take responsibilty and you have to make things happen, not them.

Another most important thing, just because you pay them they never are supposed to work harder than you, they work as much as you or less. The minute you hand over things to them and make them work much harder and you turn into a laid back person, that is where you are going to fail again. You let them do what they can but you also let them rest, take a break, leave early and have a life. If you over work them, they are going to make you obsolete.  

Always have an enriching enviornment and never let them feel like you are the boss. They are supposed to feel like your equal and they are supposed to feel a sort of worth for what they are doing. 

Always respect them and always trust them and there you will have a great relationship where you finally become a great leader.

Until the next blog

Have I Inspired You Enough?

The stars danced around in the sky, as she pretended that the butterflies were just a myth. She barely knew what she wanted and yet she wanted something that felt real and made her happy. She looked up to others and some times even the world of fiction to get some answers but it only made her ask the right questions and forget the wrong answers. A fairytale life is what everybody wants but nobody has the courage to bear the consequences all good things have to offer.

She only wanted to be loved but it wasn’t as easy because she yet had to understand that that was the wrong thing to ask for. We often don’t realise what is good for us and yet we make decisions so fair and boldly only to fall down all over again. It is not what we are destined to have but what we are destined to be given that completes the big loop.

Do we always want more or is it a condition we have been grown to live with, she thought. For she was never satisfied but she knew she has to grow in order to find what she wanted.

It is a slow and crucial path to finding inner peace, but with every struggle you are one step closer to really understanding what makes it so special and why you are the way you are.

All she had to do was look very deep inside of her and agree to an answer that would not be easy to accept and things would flow just like the flowing river.

Until the next blog

Breaking up and it’s rules

Breaking up is such a difficult time for those who were in love. It’s always that one person who never wanted to let go but has to or pretend like they feel the same way when they have to. Why does it have to be so difficult?

The worse thing is not only the break up but what comes after, the shower of loneliness, the urges we have to control to talk to the one person we really want to connect to once again, the badgering of ourselves and our minds telling it that everything is okay. The moving on process is so long and hard. You miss the comfort and the fact that the sex was good. Or that it took so long to find the right person to only realise they were equally fucked up as you. Even though there was a tiny part of you knowing something was terribly wrong, we ignore it and we take a leap ahead, open up our hearts and then the truth catches up.

Why do we have to resist messaging them or talking to them when clearly that is not what we want to do? Why do we constraint ourselves with the pain of knowing that, that person is happy somewhere living their lives. We can’t wait to ask them or to know if they’ve moved on or do they miss us. We let our curiosities peak just to watch ourselves go back to the beginning of the grieving process.

I hate how once upon a time they were your everything and now they are your nothing. They only look at the bad, they only look at how things didn’t work out, they only remember what broke us but we only think about the good times and how everything could have or should have worked out.

We know we are responsible for the consequences that took place and yet we want to deny our part and let the person breaking up with us be the villain. The one who damaged us, the one who knows all our secrets and is scot free telling the next one about our most dearest fears that lead to them leaving us.

Breaking up is so inhumane, so robotic – filled with rules. You can’t let your pride down, you won’t let them hurt you again, you wouldn’t make that call, you cannot wait for them to beg you to have you back just so you could punch them in their gut and say – in your dreams pal.

You don’t ever know whats happening on the other side and you don’t even dare to ask yourself why things didn’t work. Their memories come and go like the wind and you breath it in and then it go.

You don’t want to know if they are with someone else or that you mean’t nothing. You don’t want to be put down and you don’t want to face the truth that whatever happened, happened for good.

How can something that was so beautiful be bad? How can your best memories turn into lessons. The more the heart breaks the more aware you become. The more you stop yourself, the more you shut down, the more you keep people away.

The entire process of waiting to forget is so heartless. In the end we all are made up of dust but while the soul adds to life, you live with the guilt of not knowing the real reason of why things shattered.

Perfection is not mean’t exist. People are looking for the one that won’t hurt them, that won’t break them but that is what was mean’t to happen, you were mean’t to be broken, you were mean’t to be alone so you learn the difference.

Life is only lonely in the thought, it’s the good times that let you grieve the bad times. It is the good life that lets you realise what the bad life was.

That restaurant, those streets, those things you both liked, those things you both did. Consumed in each other at the beginning and sick of one another in the end. How do you predict these things? How do you keep yourself safe?

Why should you forget? Why should you remember? Why not let it be, why not let evil stay evil while you rinse yourself of the pure?

Will things ever be the same again? No but isn’t that the point of life itself? It cannot be repeated.

Until the next blog