Concentrate on solving your problems and not others while dealing with difficult people!

When we meet difficult people in our lives, we tend to get so egoistical, frustrated and very aggressive trying to protect our idea of what we think works or what we think is right that we forget solving the problem all together. While we waste away our time Googling how to deal with difficult people we often forget to ask the question; am I the difficult person the other person is dealing with?

If you are a difficult person dealing with another difficult person just like yourself it would frustrate you even more knowing that the other one who is also being very difficult will never admit that he or she is also acting out.

As much satisfaction it would give you to let the other person admit their mistake, you have to understand that, that could be a very RARE opportunity so we are better off not expecting an apology or a mature understanding. So what do you do then?

#1 Stop expecting others to solve a problem that frustrates you

We are smart, capable species, aren’t we? Why would we deal with a difficult human being until unless we have to work with them or have them as a friend or relative in a group. It’s circumstances that challenge us to go beyond our way to deal with them rather than just blaming them for everything and running away. The number one most effective way that I found that calmed me down immediately when I dealt with someone I didn’t like was to stop expecting them to change or come up with a solution. You know how well you work and so you should come up with a solution yourself that releases minimum amount of anger when dealing with that person. A better way to communicate with them is to communicate with them extremely less and with huge amounts of patience and listening skills.

#2 Stop worrying about your ego

If you decide to be the less insulting one, who calmly speaks out and lets the other one dart out words that affect your ego, stay calm. You have to remember that those are just words and that you know exactly who you are and just because they say things out of their assumptions it’s THEIR problem to deal with not yours. You have to always stay calm, be kind and don’t be offensive or defensive. It will pay off in the future.

#3 You solve your problems while let the world solve theirs

Deal with your problems and if people don’t take notice of it, it’s not your fault. Change takes time and know that you are willingly to understand your issues is you putting yourself first on the path of becoming a better person. While you might become more patient and less aggressive and the rest of the world stays aggressive, know that their time will come.

#4 While it’s easy to point out others mistakes, don’t do it, find another way

I’ve realised when you tell others, you are not doing your job well, you are not making things work, you are not creative, you are putting someone else down. How would you like it if someone else said such things to you? Hurtful right? You should be mindful of other peoples emotions and make sure they aren’t feeling bad because you wouldn’t like to hear bad things about you. This makes you considerate of other peoples feelings, this makes you a good person.

#5 Don’t be too hard on yourself

While you are trying to find that peace of mind for yourself, at times if you tend to loose it, apologies and stay calm. Keep letting yourself know, that you are working on yourself everyday is something to be proud of and that there are days where you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone but yourself.

Staying calm will let you win an argument within seconds. It’s the best solution I have experienced so far.

Until the next blog!

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Keeping people out of your heart?

Over years and years of mishaps and meeting the wrong kind of people, you are so exhausted of the continuous disappointment that you’d rather not open up and be disappointed again than meet ‘the one’ after the long search. The dating world in your 20’s is a scary place! While half the people you know already have boyfriends or are getting married, all you do is eat and eat and eat because that’s next best thing that’s left in life.

Why are men or women so complicated? What’s made them shut down like this? Is it their families? Friends? Careers? They are no longer into finding love or believing that – if I put myself out there, I know something good will come out of it!

There is just negativity, pickiness and shortsighted thinking that is not only shutting ourselves down but also making other people loose hope because of our scarred past.

How long will this go on? Is it till the beauty or the ego that fades and we finally do get so exhausted of shutting ourselves down constantly that we finally, open up once again?

I understand that everybody wants to protect their ego’s and hearts and no one wants to be hurt again but is it our choices that we should be responsible about or are there no more men or women worthy of letting ourselves go a little bit?

Why are people constantly just proving that love has stopped existing and that the only things we really trust are things that cannot have an opinion such as animals and food?

I say, maybe, once your ready, take a chance. Always take a chance because taking a chance and knowing that you have the power to hope is all human kind needs to survive! Even if your hopes are shattered again, take pride in the fact that you believed once again because you’re the one that needs to keep the love alive so others can have the courage to do the same!

Until the next blog.

Do Writers Have To Be Great At Grammar?

Well, somebody put up a really debatable post on my Facebook wall which is the image I have used below.

This topic went definitely out of hand within seconds. I of course participated saying that writers are storytellers and the editors can take care of the rest (aka the grammar). It made the person who posted the image even angrier.

The thing is, I feel, while there so many people in the world who can master particular skills in being good at something, nothing can beat natural talent or passion to do something with the thing they love to do. While we have heard so many famous actors who have struggled with dyslexia and still become well-known, we know too well many who are still being brought down to their limitations.

For writers especially who are not into writing as a form of editing or for a job but do it purely to send a message out, grammar is not of utmost importance. They do need to use the language they chose to write in where they have a good command but perfection can be left to the editor. Hard work and years of writing will bring them to a place they need to be but I don’t think a person needs a right or wrong method to complete a book or a drawing but just the right tools and experience and of course external help in areas they lack.

I feel like writing is a skill, it is more about how well we can say what we want to say without having to use exceptional language skills or brilliant grammar!  Simple words that hold the right meaning will have the right amount of effect it needs to have on people.

Sometimes superior work can loose its readers. I can point our several authors, books and painters who are well-known and have got a lot of success but their work has mean’t nothing nor has added anything to society or people. They have not used impeccable english nor have some been original and yet they earn in millions and have a huge reader base thus proving that the skill is more important than the sharpening of the tool to engrave tales in peoples minds.

But that does not mean one does not try to make themselves better at what they do, everyday is a lesson and chance for improvement and the more they learn the better they will become.

Until the next blog