Every now and then I feel inadequate to be part of something as big as what I’m already part of at my workplace. Many times before, people have come to admire the work I do and how I do it. They have appreciated me every now and then. They have felt proud to make me part of their team and they always have open ears to listen to my comments. And while all of this really pleases my ego there are times I don’t reach the bar they have already set for me, simply because I don’t understand how to keep up being okay with not knowing how to do everything.
And it’s your ego, telling you to always be Mr Right, to constantly push your limits so that you never have to feel inadequate again till you’ve pushed so far you hurt your mental health to protect your ego.
Hurting your ego leads to two main things. You either get extremely hot headed and end up hurting others around you by bringing people down or you end up hurting your self esteem and self confidence and feeling extremely depressed about it.
Both are equally harmful. While the first reaction is harder to recover from, the second reaction could help you save up on the damages by getting back on your feet and putting a band-aid on your ego, giving it enough time to heal.
In every stage of life if you do not tell yourself that you are not yet done learning, your going to end up hurting your ego and trust me I’ve experienced it first hand. And this is when you are supposed to sober your ego down before things get worse!
But how do you do it?
Here are some tricks I learn’t to really control my ego when thing’s don’t seem to be going great for me!
#1 Take a step back
Every time you feel threatened, you should take a step back and try to understand where is that feeling emerging from. Has a recent event triggered it or has to been happening since a long time? Then think about the kind of reaction you want to have about it. Most egotistic people just jump to conclusion and have confrontations but I felt, talking about why I feel a certain way with friends or sometimes even myself can help you reach a better solution.
#2 Listen to listen and not to reply
Often times to prove ourselves right we just talk and talk and talk without really listening to what the other person is saying. Even past confrontations could lead to people wanting to listen to you less because you do not respect them enough to listen to them in the first place. Listening also gives you time to frame your next answer in a better more reasonable manner but always try to understand what the other person is saying first.
#3 It’s okay to be wrong
If your wrong, just be wrong, don’t stress yourself out trying to always be right. If you’re always going to be right, you would have nothing left to learn in your life.
#4 Be good at what you do instead of worrying about how to be the best at everything
I realised the biggest problems I’ve had regarding my ego is trying to go out of my field of expertise and compete with people who have been in that same very field for years. Instead of becoming the best at what I do and learning everything I can about my work, I give time to learn something entirely new which affects my line of work as well as makes me look stupid trying to do something I naturally don’t like to. Which obviously leads to arguments and tension at the workplace. Just stick to things that interest you and be good at that!
#5 Be your biggest fan but also let people help you
Appreciate yourself enough so you don’t burn out but also don’t shut yourself out to other people’s help. Yes, I know sometimes you don’t need it but it’s okay if someone wants to help you, you could let them help you get up or get better at what you do once in a while!
So there it is, just some things I keep telling myself and trying to calm my ego down. Do it when you feel scared and threatened and feel like it’s the end of the world, you will feel much better practicing some of the tips given above!
Until the next blog!