Do you find it difficult to control your anger? Does your mother say you will never find a potential husband because of your short temper? Did you blame your last break up on the guy who left you because you broke his car out of revenge? Do not fret. That’s what we are here for! Just like a boring rubbish television commercial we present to you 9 hilarious nonsensical ways that might help you control your uncontrollable anger! #sonofbitchshouldholditin
- Sit in a corner and count from one to ten and if that doesn’t cool you, count from 1 to 100 and if that still doesn’t help you reach till 1000
Sitting in a corner facing the wall is always productive. Counting is even more productive. You can improve your math as well as forget what you were angry about for you will be struggling to remember which number were you last on! And if anyone disturbs you while you were calming down you are allowed to use one bad word at them but remember just one!
- Sleep, it’s better to punch someone in your dream than in real life
Whenever you find yourself in a situation where you want to punch someone do not fret! Find a flat ground and go to sleep. If you are sleeping you are not going to hit anyone except in your dream. This technique works best at home but you could also try it in parks or roads or schools!
- Whenever you feel your about to get into a fist fight; RUN and find a tree far away and punch that tree instead!
Okay so someone is getting you mad and you feel that rage coming on to you. The best thing you could do at the moment is RUN like little sissy! Run as fast as you can till you come across a sturdy little tree. Then hit that tree till it hurts and vola! You’ve controlled your anger.
- Buy a blow up doll or a normal doll to vent out your emotions anything that’s more beneficial
Punching a doll is so much better than punching a tree. We don’t want your parents sending us your medical bills for a broken hand!
- Ask your friends to stick a black star to your forehead every time you find a reason to argue with them
Just like during preschool our teachers used to stick golden star stickers to our heads for good behaviour the same way you can make black star stickers for our friends so they can do the same every time we argue with them. This will help you prevent being the black sheep of the group! Technically.
- Have cold water shower every day or eat a frozen milkshake in one shot. If your physical body’s temperature is low maybe you mental heat temperature might fall too
Scientifically brain freezes help us to stop thinking which can lead to us getting less angry. The more physical pain we are in, the less mentally you will want to use your heat to warm yourself up. I think that came out wrong…
- Ask your grandmother for advice. That always helps. LOL.
Grandma’s are soft squeezable bags of skin that will hand us a set of mala’s and god books to tell us how become devotees of god at a young age can help us channel our anger away and only the devil drives the anger in our body. Their cute little tricks and fiction stories will only leave you smiling forgetting that you were ever angry in the first place!
- Punch pillows or better scream in it till you almost die!
If you cannot afford blow up dolls or if punching a tree hurts too much, punch a pillow or better scream in it till your lungs give up. Gasping for air will only leave you distracted helping you forget your anger again! But do come up for air.
- Join a choir or a metal band. Singing always helps vent out anger. That’s how Taylor Swift does it!
Taylor Swift has earned billions of dollars gracefully channeling her anger for her ex’s in her songs and if you too make up wonderful angry lyrics and join a metal band or choir you might just make money out of your whole problem!
This was just a fun article, don’t take life so seriously. Have fun today and don’t get so angry all the time!
Until the next blog!